Mark Twain remarked, "Golf is a good walk spoiled" and many a time I have agreed with him! Before taking my current hiatus from the game of golf, I have toiled many an hour on the links. Toiled, I say, because the Golf Gods love to sit, unheard and unseen from their vantage point and direct that little dimpled ball to do the cruelest things to the one wielding the club. The Golf Gods love to snicker at you after you've hit what you think is a solid shot over a water hazard, only to discover the drive is too short and the ball dives straight into the water. The Golf Gods think it's pretty funny too when you hit a "worm burner" and wind up in an adjacent fairway, or better yet, when your drive off the tee hits a tree or some other solid object and you wind up with NEGATIVE YARDAGE! This game coulda' made Carrie Nation drink!
Sometimes the Golf Gods are benevolent deities. They allow you to hear that wonderful plastic-on-plastic sound that's made when your putt makes one full revolution around the rim before coming to rest triumphantly at the bottom of the cup. There's those times too that the Golf Gods see to it your feet and body are in perfect alignment with your target and your swing is as sweet and smooth as The Big Easy, Ernie Els. You hit a perfect drive and feel like Tiger Woods--you hear the imaginary spectators yell out, "you're the man!" The Golf Gods bestow just enough pleasure to lure you back so they can screw with you again!
Even though I haven't played golf in several years, I have tremendous respect for the game. It's one of the few sports wherein professional players mostly earn their pay from how well they play in a particular tournament, not from how well their manager can negotiate some obscene, multi-million dollar contract. Golf is a game where a professional or regular Joe can demonstrate his ethic (or lack thereof). When nobody's looking, a player can use a "Texas toe wedge" to kick the ball to a place of advantage, or "play the ball where it lies" and take a double-bogey, if necessary, but play the shot according to the rules. A player can call a penalty on himself and show his integrity. In golf, I think honesty is the best policy 'cause the Golf Gods don't like cheaters.
Sometimes the Golf Gods are benevolent deities. They allow you to hear that wonderful plastic-on-plastic sound that's made when your putt makes one full revolution around the rim before coming to rest triumphantly at the bottom of the cup. There's those times too that the Golf Gods see to it your feet and body are in perfect alignment with your target and your swing is as sweet and smooth as The Big Easy, Ernie Els. You hit a perfect drive and feel like Tiger Woods--you hear the imaginary spectators yell out, "you're the man!" The Golf Gods bestow just enough pleasure to lure you back so they can screw with you again!
Even though I haven't played golf in several years, I have tremendous respect for the game. It's one of the few sports wherein professional players mostly earn their pay from how well they play in a particular tournament, not from how well their manager can negotiate some obscene, multi-million dollar contract. Golf is a game where a professional or regular Joe can demonstrate his ethic (or lack thereof). When nobody's looking, a player can use a "Texas toe wedge" to kick the ball to a place of advantage, or "play the ball where it lies" and take a double-bogey, if necessary, but play the shot according to the rules. A player can call a penalty on himself and show his integrity. In golf, I think honesty is the best policy 'cause the Golf Gods don't like cheaters.
No comments:
Post a Comment